Bite Me with Dr. Mike Leahy (India episode) is NOT about food!!

So, more research. My next research project was very enjoyable. I went to Vancouver and met up with Melissa's friend Alisma (who is awesome by the way). She has been to India twice and she was willing to have dinner with me and discuss some tips and ideas. She was very positive about both trips. She backed up what my book had said. Occasional inappropriate touching and disconcerting staring but nothing too too bad. She and her companions weren't robbed or assaulted. People were friendly, the food delish etc. Travel was inconsistent and prices cheap. Excellent tip: in the south, hotel means restaurant. Always just ask for lodging to avoid confusion. Good stuff. Alisma brought pictures and the scenery is amazing. She has visited both the North and South so she has lots of places that she recommended and a few to avoid. I am keen on the camel safari (once I research the state of the animals well being) in the North and a backwater boat trip in the south. Are both possible? - that remains to be determined. Stay tuned for itinerary updates. I have now spent several hours with my nose in my Lonely Planet India and am realizing just how big a place India is. For comparison's sake, from what I can tell - Camels = Vancouver and Backwater Boat = Toronto. Bit of a distance. One month - can I do it??

So, all excited about my trip again, I get home and sit down to watch a show I had taped, Bite Me with Dr. Mike Leahy. I thought it was about foods of India. The Dr. part should have tipped me off. Not about food, Dr. Mike is a virologist who likes parasites.

The parasitic worm called the Ascaris

In fact he seems to like them so much he actually drank from the Ganges and had a little swim about. I could barely watch. Surprise, surprise, we then got to watch him take a stool sample to a clinic because he had 'an upset tummy' which changed to diarrhea, gas and bloating when he was talking to the doctor. It seems he has giardia. I figure he got off lucky. But that was far from the worst things he showed us. Alisma mentioned that she didn't like the monkeys. I have tried to keep a healthy respect and distance whenever I have seen them as well. Not so Dr. Mike. He was telling us about the many diseases they carry while sitting in a temple dedicated to monkeys. I expected the rabies but apparently they also have a form of herpes that causes brain swelling and goopy eyes (perhaps not listed in order to importance). The best part though was that as he was talking to us, a monkey attacked him and bit him. No trip to the clinic this time, fortunately it bit his pocket with a notepad inside. He looked scared though as he dropped his pants to check for punctures ( we saw way to much of this guy with his pants down or off but that is another issue).

Monkey Attack!!! Watch out for the shifty eyes.

Ok, so we have rabid dogs, treatable if quick enough; crazy monkeys, hopefully avoidable; body lice, wash your clothes with hot water; scabies, itchy but unlikely to kill me if I have a healthy immune system; round worms growing in my gut, some quick anti-parasite medicine before they enter my heart; leeches, no swimming in swamps. All good, I can live with any of those. It was the elephanitis that got me. It is caused by worms that breed in your lymph nodes. It makes your limbs swell up, well, like an elephant. And it is incurable.

Elephanititis. 'nough said.

It has only been a half hour since the show ended and I have already forgotten how to contract or avoid that parasite. Clearly, I will have to re-watch Dr. Mike. For some reason, I feel itchy.

A quick end note. I looked up the website for Dr. Mike's show and found his blog about his trip to India. There, I learned that the the giardia was not just a bit of discomfort and the quick fix he mentioned on the show. Apparently, he pooped himself mid-filming while in a crowd of people. Further reinforcement for my decision not to drink from the Ganges!! although he thinks it might have been unwashed fruit - harder to avoid but good to know.

Research - not for the weak of spirit

I finally got my Lonely Planet India book but I haven't had a chance to crack it open yet. I know it is going to take a lot of time. And a lot of space.

Lovely Melissa, always so thoughtful, gave me a big (BIG) map of India that is specifically designed for planning your trip. I know it is going to be fully spread out with post-its at the ready for when I start Lonely Planeting.

What I have read so far is Wanderlust and Lipstick for Women Traveling in India. The linked review calls it a pre-guidebook guidebook. Too true. It doesn't really tell me anything about specific places. But it is full of advise on how to behave and what to expect. The chapter on Indian Men was eye opening. Basically, never be alone in a room with a man, don't look a man in the eye, don't where sleeveless shirts or you will be presumed a prostitute etc etc. Always assume that whatever you say, any gestures or basic North American politeness will be taken as some sort of sexual invitation. Female tourists will be generally ignored or harassed. Book advise - learn to avoid what can be avoided and live with what can't.

This was really only a couple of cautionary pages. Overall the book was very positive about travelling solo in India. One just has to be ready for transportation delays and impromptu festivals where people throw things at you. I think my time in Mexico will work as a primer for living in a slow moving culture. The book also mentioned (numerous times) that the people are beyond friendly and tourists will have lots of opportunities to meet Indian folk who will invite them to their homes for visits and meals. All good (unless the invitation comes from a man).

It also has interesting advice about what to wear and where to buy appropriate clothes. How to get around and how to find safe and cheap transportation - trains, cabs, cars for hire, in country flights. There was even a bird watching mention!

So I am trying not to let my pre-guide guide book scare me too much. Especially since I didn't start reading it until after I had already bought my ticket.